2015. Week 2.

For my second submission of the year, I decided to work on a project that I first had the idea for at least 5 years ago.  This will be an ongoing piece with this the first installment. I hope you enjoy it...


Untitled
(though I'm thinking about "A Web of Lines" or "Single at 42")

I've been dating most of my adult life. There have been a few relationships scattered throughout, but I keep circling back around to (or falling back into) dating. I just have not been able to make it all come together. And I hate it.

Years of showing up to every family functions alone were really taking their toll. At one point, an uncle, with some sort of twisted love I hope, commented, "Still driving by yourself, these days?" Ugh. Yes. Yes I am. Would you like to pour some more salt in that wound? "Will you be having a plus one for my wedding?" No. No I won't. "Is there a Mr. Michelle?" No. No there isn't.

Now, I have met some great guys and have had some lovely experiences, but even those have the have the potential to be painful when there's no connection. Undoubtedly, starting the interaction is the most difficult part. I am cripplingly shy. The more I'm attracted to someone, the more difficult it is for me to talk to them, so meeting someone in the street is generally a problem. Meeting someone in my daily life is just as challenging. I work with the same people every day and have known them for almost 2 decades. If anything was going to happen there, it would've happened a long, long time ago.

I realized that I would need to expand my search for love. But where?

When I was in college, I met all kinds of people. I also happen to be in the Army reserves, working 2 part time jobs and interning at several places. Of course, I was going to meet people! Life after college was an altogether different experience. One job. I left the reserves. No more internships. No more classes. What's a girl to do?

People often suggest to do the things you love and you'll meet people with the same interests. That's true. It's great advice. If you happen to be interested in things that attract men that are interested in woman and aren't married and aren't 20 years older or 20 years younger, it's wonderful advice. But, if you're like me and you happen to be interested in theatre, museums, and any number of other artistic endeavors, it makes it all the more challenging. Not altogether impossible, because it does happen. I've seen it.

What about the supermarket? Has this ever worked for anyone? All I ever find in the store are college students, married guys and groceries. I suppose it depends on where you live. Live in city? This should work. Live in the suburbs? Not so much.

There's my dilemma. Or part of it anyway.

I guess it's online dating for me. It wasn't quite as socially acceptable back then (circa 1997 or so) and it still carried some of the stigma of being the "classifieds". Because only losers and rapists use the classifieds to find dates. That has changed dramatically over the last 10 years. Nowadays, it's not only acceptable, it's almost expected. But in the beginning, the stigma was still there. I logged on nonetheless, forging ahead into the world of losers and rapists. (It was pretty clear what category I was in.) I set up my profile on all sorts of sites - Match.com, Strictly Personals,  and eventually Plenty of Fish and eHarmony (They didn't exist way back when).